Most of us have at some point been plagued by negative self-talk. Unfortunately, for many people, that critical inner monologue actually interferes with happiness on a daily basis. Per the Mayo Clinic, examples of negative self-talk include catastrophizing minor incidents, filtering out the good and focusing on the bad, and ruminating on things you should have done.
Thankfully, there are several practical ways to combat our inner critics. One of them is by imagining that the person saying or experiencing those negative thoughts is your best friend or family member, and responding to yourself the way you would to them.
“We’re talking about using the same kind and gentle language and approaches that we do with the other people we love in our lives with ourselves,” clinical psychologist Joy Harden Bradford explained to NPR. “Because we’re also people that we hopefully love, right? For example, if your oldest friend came to you and said “I’m never going to amount to anything,” or “I’m not worthy of being happy,” you’d likely use kind, soothing words to assure them that those beliefs aren’t true. Get four more tips for challenging negative self-talk.
Look for the Humor
You likely don’t need any convincing that laughter is good for you, but regardless, there is scientific evidence to back up its benefits. Aside from merely making us feel better, it stands to reason that learning to look for levity in difficult or frustrating situations can help promote a more optimistic perspective overall.
Next time you find yourself growing annoyed at a long checkout line or feeling awkward over an interaction at work, consciously choose to find the humor in the situation. Research has shown that even forced laughter can improve moods.
Implement a Growth Mindset
You may already be familiar with the term “growth mindset.” Developed by American psychologist and researcher Carol Dweck, it was popularized in her 2006 book Mindset: The New Psychology of Success.
Simply put, a growth mindset is a way of thinking about life’s challenges and obstacles as opportunities for personal growth. And while that may seem like a challenge in and of itself, the beauty of this practice is that it’s actually quite easy to start implementing — it begins with changing the words you use to describe situations or yourself.
“A simple example of a fixed mindset versus a growth mindset is ‘I’m not good at yoga,’ versus ‘I’m not good at yoga yet,’” licensed clinical social worker Ashley Peña explained to Verywell Mind. The former statement implies you are in a fixed position, whereas the latter allows for a future in which you can and do improve.